


gripped you tight

by doctormissy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But also, Dean Winchester Lives, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Family, First Kiss, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Humor, I fixed it, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Reunions, Spoilers, anyway no one dies, basically cas comes and saves dean ok, but destiel is canon guys, can't believe i have to use that tag, excuse the cliche title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:56:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctormissy/pseuds/doctormissy
Summary: Dean couldn’t believe his eyes. Could it really be—no. No, he was dying and clearly hallucinating and losing his mind, because he’d swear that was Cas walking inside.‘Cas?’ Sam called, and hang on, what? He could see him too?Cas, if itwashim, looked at Dean, all concern and fond exasperation that was saying,I can’t believe you, Dean, I’m gone for a week and you end up like this?Or: how the finale should've gone.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 28
Kudos: 161





	gripped you tight

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, hello, I have feelings about that finale. I've written precisely one SPN fanfic 5 years ago but here I am now, just like everyone else. Warning for spoilers, obviously. 
> 
> Do we honestly think that Cas, being rescued and recruited to fix heaven, wouldn't feel that Dean was dying on his Dean-is-in-trouble radar and come to save him? Yeah, un-bloody-likely. So that's what happens here. Enjoy!

Dean was dying.

Dean was dying, and he was going to die exactly the way he never wanted to die. On a hunt. After a goddamn vampire pushed him onto a—a rebar or something.

He’d defeated God only to die because of a vampire and a rebar like a week later. After—

After Cas had sacrificed himself so that he and Sam could live. After he told him he loved him and then got swallowed up by a vengeful cosmic fucking entity like an idiot.

He kept thinking about that moment, replaying it in his head over and over.

Really, Dean was the idiot. He’d never thought that Cas was even capable of _that_ kind of love, let alone love someone like _him_ , but he proved him wrong. In the worst circumstances imaginable. Dean hadn’t even had time to say something or process the fact that it was happening in the first place, and then Cas was gone, and Dean had to live with it. And die with it, apparently.

He hadn’t even told Sam.

Sam, who was the only one here and who’d see him die in this lame fucking way and who Dean still had to tell about that thing piercing his back and break his heart because they’d only _just_ earned their freedom.

‘Sam… I don’t… I don’t think I’m going anywhere,’ he said.

‘What? What are you talking about?’

‘There’s something in my—something in my back.’

Sam stared at him, wide-eyed.

The pain was getting worse. More intense. He couldn’t breathe properly. He thought about Miracle the dog, and he still thought about Cas. His best friend. Maybe more, but they’d never know, would they? Because had Dean mentioned being an idiot?

‘It feels like it’s right through me.’ Sam stepped closer and reached behind Dean. There was blood on his hand. Dean’s blood. ‘Oh, God.’

Sam hovered in front of him, beginning to panic. ‘Alright, um. Hold on. Okay. Uh, I got you.’

He jumped forward and tried to take him off of that thing. But if he did that, Dean would probably bleed out. There were no doctors and no convenient celestials anywhere near this place. ‘No, no, no, no, no. Don’t—don’t—don’t move me. Don’t move me. It feels like this thing’s holding me together right now.’

Son of a bitch. He was going to _die here_. And it _hurt_.

Just then, the door to the barn opened. Shit, were there more vamps? Let there not be any more vamps.

Sam, now in full-on panic mode, turned his head around. There weren’t vamps.

Dean couldn’t believe his eyes. Could it really be—no. No, he was dying and clearly hallucinating and losing his mind, because he’d swear that was Cas walking inside.

‘Cas?’ Sam called, and hang on, what? He could see him too?

Cas, if it _was_ him, looked at Dean, all concern and fond exasperation that was saying, _I can’t believe you, Dean, I’m gone for a week and you end up like this?_

His voice, his wonderful voice, said, ‘Hello again, Dean.’ He strolled closer and then briefly smiled at his brother. ‘Sam.’

Sam asked, ‘Cas, is this—is this really you? H—how…?’

‘It was Jack,’ he said, because of course it was. He was God now. He could do whatever he wanted, and he’d never abandon his dad like that. Not even the Empty could defy him. Yep, that was their kid, alright. Sam smiled, reaching the same conclusion, but his eyes were red and watering.

‘What’s going on, Dean?’ he asked. Dean felt himself slipping. He fought to keep his eyes focused. ‘I heard you. You’re—you’re dying.’

‘That vamp, he uh. Something in my back. Can you—I don’t—I don’t wanna die.’

Not like this. Not now.

Cas scanned him with his big blue eyes and then stepped over to his side to survey the situation. ‘I’m going to have to pull you free first,’ he said. ‘It’s going to hurt.’

No shit. Dean cocked his head and said, the corner of his mouth ticking upwards, ‘Do what you gotta.’

Cas gripped him like Sam had tried to a few moments ago, but it would be okay now. He was an angel and had his angelic mojo. Breath hitched in Dean’s throat, because even that hurt almost worse than Hell. That rebar probably punctured some organs—

He yanked him free. Dean screamed.

Then a warm hand pressed against the wound and closed it, leaving behind nothing but a tingle, a hole in his clothes, and did he mention warmth? Celestial healing. Damn, that really came in handy.

‘Well that was unpleasant,’ Dean joked, rubbing, or trying to, at the spot. ‘Thank Jack we know a bunch of celestial beings who can heal, am I right?’

Sam frowned, not amused. Well. Dean couldn’t blame him. He really did think this was it, game over.

Cas tilted his head like he did and pursed his lips, giving him a totally unimpressed but also kind of anticipating look. He was thinking about That Moment. Dean knew, because he was too.

He was here. Cas was _here_. He let that sink in.

He pulled him into a hug and grasped at the fabric of his trenchcoat as he pressed his head against Cas’s, chin on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and breathed him in, the kind of staticky angelic scent of his. Cas stiffened for a second, but then he wrapped his arms around Dean and held on.

‘I missed you,’ Dean breathed. He pulled back and looked him in the eye. ‘Don’t you _ever_ do something like that again, yeah? No more shady deals with weird entities and no more dying right after you—’

‘I had no other choice, Dean. If we were to stop Billie… I’m sorry, but I’d happily do it again if it meant that the world was saved and you and Sam and Jack got to live,’ said Cas. ‘Although you _did_ almost die here today, so perhaps I’ll reconsider.’

Well. Yeah. That was embarrassing.

‘Shut up,’ Dean said, still embarrassed and still feeling an imaginary hole in his back.

Cas took a deep breath. ‘About what I said, Dean—’

Sam cleared his throat and jerked a thumb at the door. ‘I’m uh, I’m going to check on those kids, see if they’re okay.’

Cas pulled him into a brief hug too. To him, Sam said, ‘Good to see you again, man. And thank you for saving him. I don’t know what I’d do if he…’

‘Good to see you too, Sam,’ Cas nodded.

Sam smiled, and then it were _his_ long limbs hugging Dean to complete the set. He sniffled. ‘Don’t you ever do something like that again either. Dean. If Cas hadn’t come, if Jack didn’t—’

‘Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay. I didn’t die. Just another one in a long line of close calls, yeah?’ he said, patting his back. ‘Now get out; I need to talk to Cas.’

He did, but not before giving him and Cas a Look. Did he know? He hadn’t told him anything, but… Dammit, Sammy, was it that obvious?

‘About what I said,’ Cas began again. ‘Obviously, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, so this is probably a little awkward. I understand if my feelings ruined our friendship—’

‘Cas.’

‘—but it’s the truth. I meant what I said, and I would take nothing back. But know that I’m happy to simply be around you, on Earth, again. Nothing has to change.’

‘Cas,’ Dean said again, with feeling. He swallowed a lump in his throat. He didn’t even have a plan or anything, or know what he was doing, but he had to get some words out before Cas tied himself up in knots. He had to get over himself and stop being a fucking coward who wouldn’t even admit his complicated but unquestionably present feelings to his best friend.

He reached out and cupped his cheeks. ‘Cas. You were wrong. You said you couldn’t have me, but you—you already do. Man, you always have, even if I didn’t know it yet. Without you, it’s just—empty. A dog can’t replace you.’

‘A dog?’ Cas raised his eyebrows. Of course he had to focus on that.

‘That’s a bit of a long story,’ he snorted. ‘Anyway, um.’ Here went. ‘I didn’t even get a chance to say anything when you—but I. I was an idiot. I thought you couldn’t feel that way about anyone—hell, you’re an _angel_. We were friends, we were family, and that was enough for me, just being like that, you know? So I never said anything. But I do. I love you, Cas. You’re—you’re there, you always save my ass, you put up with me, you don’t get any of my awesome movie references, you have this ridiculous hair and always this stupid trenchcoat, you just. You fill this empty space. You’re beautiful. I’m sorry, I’m terrible at words sometimes, but…’

Cas squeezed his wrists and gave him these hopeful doe eyes. Dean’s stomach did a whole thing. ‘Do you really mean that?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Not in a friends way, but in a, uh…’

‘Relationship way?’ Dean offered. ‘Yeah. I do, Cas. I mean, if that’s something you even do. Do you? Do _you_?’

‘Yes, Dean. I thought that was evident,’ he answered. King of smugly. ‘I would like to try, if you would. You really are the most wonderful human being that I have met, and I would really, really like to spend this second chance Jack had given us by your side.’ His eyes briefly jumped to his lips. ‘I would also quite like to kiss you, if I may.’

Now it was him looking at Cas’s lips for a change. Yep. So would he. Very much. The thought had crossed his mind so many times in the last few years that it wasn’t even funny, and he’d usually felt kind of shitty about it, because that was his best friend. He hadn’t actually _hoped_.

‘Okay,’ Dean said, voice small and not at all nervous.

Cas let go of his hands and pulled at the lapels of his jacket instead, drawing him in. He pressed his lips against Dean’s, uncertainly at first, like someone who didn’t really know what he was doing. Dean deepened the kiss and held onto him like he was a lifeline, like someone who had just died and come back.

Which, Dean kind of had too.

He had a lot of experience with kissing. Like, a _lot_. Mostly women, but also a few men. He couldn’t say it was special or that there were sparks, even though Cas _was_ a literal angel, but it felt _right_. Amazing, and right, and holy shit, he was actually kissing Cas.

He didn’t want it to stop, but he was still human and needed to breathe eventually. Cas was smiling when he pulled away, and Dean grinned right back. He loved seeing Cas be happy like this. And not dying afterwards.

He rested his forehead against his and stole another quick kiss. Then he said, ‘We should probably get out of here.’

Those vampire corpses weren’t very romantic, for sure.

‘Yes. Sam will be waiting.’

‘Yeah. Okay. Also, I’m starving, and there’s snacks in the car.’

Cas chuckled. Yeah, what of it? He knew how Dean was with his food. Come on, he almost died today. Again. And the last thing he ate was a burger and fries a few hours ago, and it hadn’t even been that good.

He let go of him and went to pick up his machete, giving that stupid hook or whatever the fuck it was the side-eye. After everything he’d been through, he’d almost kicked the bucket because of _that_? No thanks. He finally had a chance to live, and he fully intended to grab it tight and hold on.

He walked out of the barn, Cas in tow. Sam was standing by the Impala, and the two boys huddled together on the backseats.

‘Hey. You take the kids back to town and we get rid of the bodies?’

‘Sure,’ Sam said. He looked between the two of them and smiled. Knowingly. ‘Glad you two worked it out.’

‘Shut up,’ he gibed. Then, ‘Yeah, uh. Same.’

* * *

Two days later, they organised a big dinner at the bunker. Sam had texted the WhatsApp group—they were hunters, but they were also smartphone-owning 21st-century people—and invited everyone over to properly celebrate the defeat of Chuck.

The three of them had cooked and had everything they didn’t know how to cook delivered. They’d pushed all three of those research tables together and grabbed more chairs to accommodate sixteen people. There were Jody and the girls, Donna, Bobby, Garth, Charlie and her girlfriend, even Donatello. There was Jack, sitting at the head of the extended table because he was God now but not missing out on something like this because he was still their kid, thanks very much. There were Sam and Eileen, arms casually draped around each other. Miracle was lying under the table, already whining for scraps. And then there was Cas, and one empty spot next to him.

Dean observed them as he carried the last two plates over. Pie from his favourite bakery. Of course there had to be pie.

They were talking to each other and drinking and laughing, like the family Dean never had growing up. It was missing a few people, those Sam and he couldn’t save, but this was still worth it. This was enough. They’d all done something incredible. And the rest of their friends and family were in Heaven—which had gone through some changes, apparently. They could all visit each other, Jack had said. He’d fixed it. Cas had helped.

Dean was proud of them.

He placed the two pies in the centre of the table, grinning. ‘Alright! There we go. Now it’s complete,’ he said. He grabbed his beer bottle but didn’t sit down. ‘I’m uh, not very good at speeches and stuff, so I’m just gonna say this. We did it, guys. We defeated Chuck, and now we’re finally free.’ He raised the bottle in a toast. ‘To Team Free Will. To family.’

‘Amen,’ said Sam, beer likewise in hand. Everyone followed suit, holding up their drinks of choice.

‘And to Jack,’ Cas said. ‘We couldn’t have done any of this without him.’

Yep. Chuck would’ve destroyed the universe, and they’d all be kaput. And besides, Cas would still be tortured in the Empty right now if Jack hadn’t pulled him out. Thank fucking somebody for Jack going all _Good Omens_ and choosing his adoptive family over Satan.

Dean was proud of him too.

Jack gave Cas a divinely enigmatic smile. ‘It was a collaborative effort,’ he said. ‘But thank you. Everything is as it should be now.’

Dean sat down. Cas held out his hand; he took it. Everyone saw, and he couldn’t care less. He was finally happy.

**Author's Note:**

> The last scene was in my head for the last two weeks and when it didn't happen, I had to write this thing. And look, it fits.
> 
> Comments and kudos sustain me <3


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